Tuesday is better than Monday.

Ok so maybe I overreacted some...

Amazing how worked up I got over a fairly harmless email that really was more sweet and loving than anything else.  My mind is off kilter a bit, I guess being in a relationship that seems so insecure for the last 10 months has done a number on me.  Also the impending quit smoking date is wreaking havoc on my rationale.  Either way I kind of feel like a fool for that last blog post, pretty embarrassed that I could get myself so worked into a tissy like that.  Just goes to show you how fragile I really am, how fragile we all can be.

The facts haven't changed, just my perspective on some of them have.
Fact - I need and want to quit smoking
Fact - I need and want to lose 40 lbs
Fact - My boyfriend is difficult, and I still love him

Quitting Smoking -
I can't allow this to become a chore, or to become something I'm forcing myself to do for anyone other than me.  I will not succeed if my attitude towards the process isn't positive.  Homework for this today is to read articles like this one on the about.com smoking cessation pages.  Adjusting my attitude is key to success!

Losing Weight -
Continuing to make the best choices I can about what I put into my body is the best way to accomplish this goal.  I don't have to lose 40 lbs today, I just have to make better choices and remember that it's the long run I'm concerened about, not what my unhealthy body and mind are craving at this moment.

Difficult Boyfriend -
I have a choice, stay with him and accept the relationship for what it is, or leave.  This seems so simple but as you all probably know it's far from it.  Love is a tricky thing, no one is perfect.  Chemistry is important but so are values and life goals.  Evaluating these things from as objective a view point as possible is healthy and possible.

I do actually feel fairly confident about quitting smoking.  I know I want it.  I've cleaned out the car but not had it detailed yet.  I've cleaned the house but still smoked in it.  These two things were on my to do list but have only half-heartedly been accomplished.  Trying not to be too worried about it as really when I quit on Friday morning, I quit right?  I need to stay focused on my most important goal...becoming a non-smoker!  In a sense I can't wait for Friday to get here.  The anxiety leading up to the big day can be so overwhelming!  I know I can do this, just need to keep reminding myself of that FACT.

I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can quit smoking!  I can, I can, I can!!!!!