Day 6 today...

Still making it!  Sometimes it's so easy it's like "how could I ever smoke, it's so disgusting!"  And then out of nowhere sometimes in the same minute my body and mind say "oh go smoke now, it's time".  So irritating, but I guess that's all it is really is an irritance.  

I'm focusing on staying busy and trying not to think about what's around the corner still.  I know this will only make it harder for me.  The future is coming no matter what right?  So worrying about it will help how?   Oh that's right, it won't help at all, what a waste of energy to even think about it then huh? :)

I made some chilli last night in the crock pot, I'll have it for dinner tonight with some cornbread muffins.  mmmmmmm!  The Yankees lost last night :( didn't make my boyfriend very happy, I really hope they play better tonight otherwise he's gonna be a bear all weekend!

So what I'm doing to stay busy is a few things that I've been meaning to improve for sometime now.

• Working out more.  This hasn't acutally happened yet (ha!) but I have plans to go for a hike on Saturday morning with a friend and I've been going to the trainer twice a week.  I do need to include some cardio (UGH and YIKES) into my routine soon, I know it will only help but somehow I'm scared to commit to anything...dumb!
• Cooking more.  Well cooking at all would be an improvement!  I'm the queen of take out, makes me lazy, fatter, and poorer.  So last night it was Chilli, and I'm just going to pick a few recipes each week and go for it.  The good thing is that even if I mess them up terribly my boyfriend will still eat them cause he hates wasting food :)
• Getting rid of old stuff.  This one is huge!  For some reason I just always have too much stuff.  I'm not a hoarder or anything and all my things pretty well fit, but I buy new things and never get rid of anything old, just makes me feel a little weighted down by it all.  I could probably get away with half the amount of stuff that I actually have, especially clothes.  So many clothes hanging in my closet that I never wear, it's ridiculous.  Also old photo's from my marriage that I really don't want to keep around me anymore.  Boxes of stuff that I don't even know what's in!  So I'm going to spend an hour or two each night just sorting and giving away until I feel a little more carefree :)
• Working on my style.  This is a new one, and I'm not quite sure how to tackle it yet.  I know my clothing style is way too boring and now that I have time on my hands because I don't have to smoke all the time I'd really like to feel a little more put together.  Like I have a style that really represents who I am.  Should be interesting to develop....lets see!

So that's whats keeping me distracted and moving forward these days.  I think it's all really important stuff, and perhaps a reason I haven't been successfull at quitting smoking in the past is that I didn't really take the time or spend the energy to change anything else about my behaviours at the same time.  So I always ended up feeling depressed like I'd lost something.  This time I have so much to gain.....